Oh man these have been a rough few days. I blocked off my work schedule again after seeing just 4 clients. It is just not possible to ONLY Breastfeed in this emotional state and then to run out to an appointment every evening. Uggggggggh.
Norah has zero sucking reflex. My reserve tank in running out of gas. I have done a lot of research on how to retrain your baby to suck...but usually that works for 4-6 week old babies. Norah is almost 13 weeks. I am glad that we decided to get the surgery when we did, BUT it breaks my heart that we found it so late and she got it done at nearly 12 weeks. Although I am thankful that it will avoid many problems later in life, it hasn't helped breastfeeding much at all (yet?). She is beyond clueless how to get milk out. She still never sticks her tongue out, and forget about cupping her tongue like a hot dog bun!! I am hoping that I can get some ideas tonight on what to do next at the la leche league meeting.
Norah had another milk panic attack this morning (ended up having to syringe feed her again) so we missed our last class of the mommy and me yoga series at Inspire. I am really sad about this. That was one of my only "escapes" from all this... It gave me a chance to feel like we had a normal, mommy-baby bonded relationship. In reality, what we have is SO messy. I don't even have a name for it. It is definitely in a class of its own.
Here is what we have going on today. With her, I need to run to the car registration place. Hopefully that won't take long. It will take an hour or more to get to Fort Worth for Norah's follow up appointment with Dr. Cole at 4 o'clock. Then, the la leche league meeting is at 7 here in town. Somehow I need to figure out how Norah is going to eat today with all of this stuff going on .... I am not looking forward to any of it.
I am so ready to be rescued from all of this. Please God, come pull me out!!!
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