Burleson Nurse-In Event

Norah and I drove to Burleson on Saturday to support nursing in public after an event challenged state law. This was a peaceful roadside rally and a whole lot of fun! I am finding this rally stuff very encouraging... It is amazing how simply people can educate the public. Somebody has got to stand up for what is normal before it all goes out the window!!

The news crew set up right behind our blanket! It was a bit intimidating. 

I

I grabbed some of these photos from people online, as you can see we are in a few, so we didn't take them all: 

See us in this next one? I'm wearing a white hat, nursing N, sitting on the grass. 

And the most hilarious one... This guy (husband of the brunette next to him). The sign makes me laugh out loud!

Yes, the probability that Mary breastfed her baby is very high, considering that there were no other options (other than find another mom to feed your baby), that's what all the literature and paintings point to, so it would have been a big big waste to fashion animal skins, burlap, cloth, or whatever material was necessary into a not needed accessory for feeding her child. Seems ridiculous if there is no shame in breastfeeding. Let's not make it about the cover, though. Let's just sit in the thought that Mary was doing what was needed, feeding her son, whenever, wherever, and however worked best for them. I think we could all learn something from this. :)

Two steps forward

... One step back. But hey, we are MOVING FORWARD!!!!! Still having clicking/pain issues. BUT whatever. We nursed in the MobyWrap for the first time today, 3 times already (each a different way). :) WHY do people not do this more often?? MobyWrap friends-- you have got to try it. There are some tutorials for different holds on YouTube if you need em. It is SO easy and helpful. For Norah, she nurses much better IN the moby than out if it. Crazy girl loves to be worn. And it is not nearly as tiring as holding her. Right now even, I was nursing her as I type on my iPad and she unlatched and fell asleep, head still in the crook of my arm. I'm holding her entire body with just my inner elbow thanks to the moby. Goodness!

Believe it or not, I was able to nurse her like this as I took Shasta to go potty (down 3 stories and walking a pretty good distance with Shasta on the leash). Because of our background in breastfeeding {or so i believe}, Norah is a bit picky with positioning and moving around. She gets frustrated and refuses the breast easily. So, this was not possible before. I LOVE IT. The moby can do things that no other carrier can do. So much flexibility since there's no shape to it. 

II will be attending a latch-on/nurse-in event celebrating legal rights of breastfeeding babies tomorrow morning in Burleson. Unfortunately, 2 babies got denied the right to eat without restrictions AGAIN this week... One location, same day!!

 Copy and paste into your browser to view the whole story and the confrontation caught on tape: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/07/lucy-eades-breastfeeding-_n_3719454.html

 A rec center there said they were given permission from the city of Burleson to tell the women to cover or go to the bathroom, but frankly, that is not the state law. In Texas specifically, women have the right to feed their children in any place where the mother can legally be (private or public) and in any way (bottle, breast or SNS device). It is unlawful to harass the mother who is breaking no law, and it breaks my heart. 

Don't they know that breastfeeding babies literally get the woman's hormones through the milk-- and this is constantly changing due to mood? Nature designed it this way... God is amazing. If a mama of any kind feels threatened, she naturally stops releases oxytocin (the feel good hormone) into her breast milk. The Sympathetic Nervous System takes over (ya know, fight or flight) which causes a release of a powerful hormone cocktail, mostly of adrenaline, then the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and digestion will slow way down. How on EARTH could this be good for your growing baby?! Also, by insinuating that the women was in some way doing something wrong or gross, she feels embarrassed, and that's one more big reason to give up (especially if you are a new mom or struggle with breastfeeding). Shame on you, city of Burleson, for "giving permission" for these things. These are the main reasons why we will be going with the 300+ other mom, dads, and babies and offering our support for the rights of breastfeeding kiddos tomorrow. It shouldn't matter what or how you feed your child.

In other news, John's last day at Jos. A Bank was TODAY! All done with that chaos! He starts at ZAR Clothier at the beginning of next week. Big things happening at the Cluff residence. Thank you for your prayers. Our God is alive and has definitely been providing me with situations recently that are sending me running full speed ahead towards Him. Amen to that. Doesn't get any more real than this, y'all. 

Sweet joy

Huge leaps!

Okay, today totally turned around. Reading my last post again just proves to me that ONLY Jesus can do this. Helping Him (ha!) gets me absolutely NOwhere {like the God of the universe needs MY help} :P oh how I love His sense of humor. I decided to just quit -- yeah you read correctly. I quit TRYING. I quit researching. I quit spending hours of my day, when not glued to the bed trying to nurse Norah, on forums about suck training and bad latches. I quit pumping (to reassure myself that my supply wouldn't drop). In the meantime, I was able to truly let go. My internal dialog eventually sounded something like this: God, you gave her to me, so she is not mine. If I am supposed to breastfeed her, make it happen. If you decide to take all of this in another direction, so be it. I know you never give your children situations that we can't handle... But I'm awfully close here!! I have held on to this for 13 weeks because you told me to. Now I need an update on how you want this to go! I'll do it. I am letting her go. I have zero control. Just take this from me and show me what to do next. 

What came out of that was truly beautiful. All day today, I have had this song stuck in my head... Well, part of a song called Shadowfeet. If you haven't heard it, you MUST FIND IT on YouTube. This was one of the songs that I sang when I was serving with the worship band at crossroads. 

"... When the world has fallen out from under me, I'll be found in you, still standing. When the sky rolls up and the mountains fall on their knees, when time and space are through, I'll be found in you ...You  make all things new (4x)"  So He pulled this little gem from my distant memories and I got to meditate on these words for two hours in the car today. 

Also, I'm praising God that Norah sort of nursed for the past 3 times today. There were no tears!! And every time I was holding her 1/2 reclined (I just went for it). This is huge... You have no idea how much joy this brings to our rough situation. It was still a painful, clicky, nipple squishing latch, but progress is being made. 

Let's see... Dr. Cole said that Norah's healing is AMAZING. He was shocked it had been one week exactly. He also said that she would probably really benefit from bodywork, specifically chiropractic work, because a weak suck can be easily corrected by "resetting" the nerves and realigning the bones of the head. I already knew all of this, but it just proves to me that we need to have it done. Her head tilt has been obvious since birth, so it's basically a given that something is a bit off. Birth is hard work for little bodies. Norah probably worked harder than I did!! Dr. Cole said she is at the perfect age for this to be most effective. I also went to the La Leche League meeting tonight, there were just 2 of us and 1 leader there this time, but she said they have a fairly large group at the different morning meeting time. I will be going to that one as well. Nonetheless, I had a good time. I felt good to get some of our issues out in the open and somehow I was able to offer help the other lady and her 8 week old son. It's cool how that works -- moms offering other moms advice just from knowing what worked and what didn't. Next week I am going to the Denton meeting, then the week after is Lewisville AM. looking forward to it!

In conclusion, this day went from really not good (earlier post), to basically amazing in my book. All glory be to the big guy. 

Let go, and let God!

Great is The Lord (but this sucks)!

Oh man these have been a rough few days. I blocked off my work schedule again after seeing just 4 clients. It is just not possible to ONLY Breastfeed in this emotional state and then to run out to an appointment every evening. Uggggggggh. 

Norah has zero sucking reflex. My reserve tank in running out of gas. I have done a lot of research on how to retrain your baby to suck...but usually that works for 4-6 week old babies. Norah is almost 13 weeks. I am glad that we decided to get the surgery when we did, BUT it breaks my heart that we found it so late and she got it done at nearly 12 weeks. Although I am thankful that it will avoid many problems later in life, it hasn't helped breastfeeding much at all (yet?). She is beyond clueless how to get milk out. She still never sticks her tongue out, and forget about cupping her tongue like a hot dog bun!! I am hoping that I can get some ideas tonight on what to do next at the la leche league meeting. 

Norah had another milk panic attack this morning (ended up having to syringe feed her again) so we missed our last class of the mommy and me yoga series at Inspire. I am really sad about this. That was one of my only  "escapes" from all this... It gave me a chance to feel like we had a normal, mommy-baby bonded relationship. In reality, what we have is SO messy. I don't even have a name for it. It is definitely in a class of its own. 

Here is what we have going on today. With her, I need to run to the car registration place. Hopefully that won't take long. It will take an hour or more to get to Fort Worth for Norah's follow up appointment with Dr. Cole at 4 o'clock. Then, the la leche league meeting is at 7 here in town. Somehow I need to figure out how Norah is going to eat today with all of this stuff going on .... I am not looking forward to any of it. 

I am so ready to be rescued from all of this. Please God, come pull me out!!!

Early Gift!

The chubster and I on our NEW IPAD! Surprise from my amazing hunk of a husband!! It's an early anniversary present. He knows I don't like spending $$, so he traded in his old computer for this amazing thing. So special and sweet! This picture is fuzzy because I am not taking the screen protector off until I have the perfect case. :P 

Also, I feel like I need to describe what in the world I am wearing. My purple shirt has cut outs for the shoulders, and I'm wearing the moby wrap on top. So that explains it. 

Big Latch On & more

What a crazy event filled weekend! I went to the most life changing event on Saturday morning called the Fort Worth Family Expo & Big Latch On. After receiving some surprisingly negative feedback after sharing the event page on Facebook (about it being a frightening, non-modest, boob flaunting event), I responded with these words that generally sum it up:

This is not a flaunt your boob event. The Big Latch On is a global annual event celebrating World Breastfeeding Week. Breastfeeding mothers (many will cover up) and families get together to celebrate and support each other in bf, and many locations are hosting in private conference rooms [...] This is not supposed to be a protest or political event of any kind... It's just moms getting together and trying to beat the bf record at 10:30. I am so blessed that I had family help us stick with it, I know many moms don't have that. Without the support and proof that other women struggle, too, all bf relationships would crumble. I have yet to feed Norah correctly, and honestly I'd love to one day at least have the option to NIP, but again that is not what this event is about.  I would love to be included in the bf count, but the chances of that are slim. I'm going because I believe in bf and want it so badly.

(I got some of these pictures from other people... I didn't take them all.)

WFAA News Channel 8 was there, which was awesome! 

And this is the story that they did on the event.

This year, the previous BLO record was broken! The count this year for breastfeeding at 10:30am around the globe was 14,536 babies! Locally, the count for Fort Worth was 193, which more than doubled last year's. The youngest baby to participate was 12 days old, the oldest was 47 1/2 months old. There were 3 sets of twins and one tandem nursing mom there. It was so awesome and I'm glad that Norah and I went!

So there you have it... and for the record I DID get to breastfeed Norah (or her version of it anyway), we chose to NIP, outside, around a ton of other people, and all I got was smiles and friendly conversations from others around me. I did not go to a club, so there was no need to be frightened about maintaining my conservative attitude towards modesty... and let's be blunt about what seems to be the real "issue" here, nudity. It still surprises me that some people can be so touchy about breastfeeding. Can't someone besides a current or past breastfeeding mother explain to these folks how mammals feed their young?? It is getting ridiculous. If you want a life while exclusively breastfeeding, you give your kid milk when you are out and about. Can you imagine having a day full of running errands and you going back to your car or yuck.. their BATHROOM every 2 hours just to feed your kid? Now imagine doing that when you already have older children running around every which way... it just wouldn't work. Have these people never walked into a mall? Or watched TV? Sure they have, they are just choosing to say that the pornographic tendencies of Victoria's Secret advertisements are justified by something. In reality, a nursing baby even without a cover can be MUCH less revealing than these ads available for everyone to see.

Nursing In Public does not mean taking your shirt off! Most moms wear layers, or a baby carrier that makes it very easy. So why is a mom tending to her baby more frightening than a much more provocative image of a bikini at the pool?! ... talk about boob flaunting. Phew -- I get pretty fired up about this topic, obviously. I am ALL for modesty. That's why I feel like we should be using all this negative boob showing energy and direct it towards man-made things that make breasts and women a sexual object... like the topics listed above. Please don't negatively address something beautiful, natural, and needed when others of us are striving so hard to give women more options in providing the next generation nutrition. Just look away, or better yet, give that mom a smile because more than likely she has sacrificed and struggled a lot to try and do the very best thing for her baby. Then, maybe go to the mall or the pool where there are 'more things' to look at. ;)

To wrap up this post, check out lil miss NJ in her stroller at the Big Latch On. It was 100 outside, so I was kind to her and just let her sport her diaper... until someone said that "HE" was precious. Notice the humongous pink bow in this picture. :P    SHE's a cutie.

Firm grip!!

More on this weekend, we went to our friends Gabe and Michelle's wedding Saturday night. It was low-key, lovely, and Christ was all over the place. Sunday was also a special day, since God started knitting Norah together on Aug 4th of last year. :)  We went to our first church service as the 3 of us on Sunday morning (we have been going to our Homegroup Friday nights as a family unit, but this is was our first worship service all together). Norah did awesome. I put her in the Moby and she slept the whole time. It was a beautiful service about our joy and identity in the Lord. It was so what I needed to hear -- perfectly struck a chord with all this breastfeeding chaos. The Holy Spirit was definitely cookin something up in me... let's be real, I was moved to tears several times throughout.

There is nothing that could ever separate us. 

There is nothing that could ever separate us from your love. 

No life, no death, of this I am convinced. 

You, my God, are greater still.

As CS Lewis puts it, Praise is inner health made audible. I love that, and I couldn't agree more.

Improving already!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first milk coma from legitimate bf.
I'm a happy girl right now.

As I tried to take this picture she woke up. Oh well. Still happy.

Redeeming Breastfeeding, Day 1

Good news: Norah is showing interest in nursing. When I physically flange her lips out, they stay there for a few sucks. Today is Day 1 of World Breastfeeding Week.

Bad news: Her suck is really weak. She only will nurse when we lay down... Which means I have not been out of our bedroom all day (besides for ME to eat). She still gets frustrated and complains when nursing. Her tongue still isn't coming forward enough over her gum line. The click still happens. It is still very painful. My nipples are not happy. She obviously still has muscle memory from how things were.

I have banned all artificial nipples, so we are attacking this thing. No more bottles or paci's. No more messing around. We have got to figure this thing out.