No More Lip/Tongue Tie!!

It is finished (although we have a long way to go before nursing works and is close to normal)! Clear Fork Dental called and we were able to move her appointment up a day, so we did it at 3:00pm yesterday. Everything went great during the procedures. Dr. Cole is really awesome -- so experienced in this area. I saw 5 other infants in the office while I was there with Norah. People come from all over for the frenectomy procedures, and Dr. Cole is one of the best around. He trained with Dr. Kotlow, the tongue tie guru in NY, so he really knows what he's doing. I felt totally comfortable with him the whole time and the staff is so sweet and professional. We had an amazing experience. I would recommend Clear Fork to anyone.

Norah was so smiley at their office, it was adorable. This was the first time that I've noticed her smiling at complete strangers when they weren't trying to be funny. Loved it! Dr. Cole and his assistant Erika asked me a ton of questions and got a feel of how things were going for us before he examined her. It was so refreshing knowing that they actually cared about the little details about our situation, like how long we struggled and how I came to figure out this was our issue (my answer was youtube -- lol! That wasn't the first time they've heard that either). Norah laid in my lap while Dr. Cole looked at her lip tie first. I knew it was large, but their reactions still surprised me. It definitely was restricting her open mouth shape and completely keeping her from flipping those lips out. Then he lifted up her tongue and said "and there's the posterior". I was relieved. Just finally having someone who saw her lip AND tongue tie and knowing that all the hours and hours of research had paid off was so liberating. My job was complete at that moment. I did EVERYTHING I could do and now God needed to work through Dr. Cole as I sat back and took a huge sigh of relief.

They asked me if I wanted to continue with the procedures. Of course I said yes (I was on the cancellation list for two weeks, it took me an hour to get there, and the procedure takes less than two minutes!)... So we got started right then! Norah got swaddled very tightly, got comfy between 2 assistants in the treatment chair, and was fitted with some super rad glasses to protect her eyes from the laser. I got glasses too, but hers were much cuter. :) The actual laser tool is amazing - it looks like a really thin metal wire with a tiny glowing red dot on the end. Technology is insane. In whole, both procedures were complete in 90 seconds. SO FAST. She didn't start crying till about halfway through. We didn't use any anesthesia or numbing agents for her (nerves aren't completely formed), but they did put a special aloe gel on the areas right afterwards. There was very minimal bleeding, just barely orange spit!

{You'd be proud of me... I watched the entire thing from a very close up view, and handled it very well. I only had the mama bear urge to tackle Dr. Cole and protect my little cub once! ;) I honestly did have this thought for a split second when they started her lip halfway through. I just turned around and looked out the window for a second and was good to go. The thought made me laugh at myself and those bizarre instincts.}

I tried nursing right afterwards, but she wouldn't have it. They say it might take a few days until her mouth gets to be more comfortable. She is still taking a bottle of expressed milk.

Good Lord, post-op has been rough. I may need to cave and give her some baby Tylenol or something. Her upper lip is very swollen, but the surgery sites look amazing! She has cried more this past evening and into the wee hours of this morning more than she has cried in her whole life. Poor thing. They say it feels like a food burn (ya know, when you don't want to wait for the queso to cool off). ;) We have several stretches to do multiple times a day in order for the sites to not reattach. Believe it or not, it is getting worse before it's getting better. All part of the process! We are still in the tunnel, slowly inching our way towards that light!!

Crisis Update

I know I said I would post when I knew something, I didn't. It has been a rough 2 weeks ... But I see the light at the end of this tunnel!

This is an update for my last post.
We did not get her tongue or lip tie clipped at that appointment 2 weeks ago. Dr. B saw her lip tie (but couldn't clip it in the office) and said that her tongue was not tied down. The office staff was extremely sweet and caring, they even called dozens of places in the area that could take care of her lip tie (for a hefty price) and didn't charge me for coming in that day -- we didn't do the procedures, after all. I'll admit, I cried right there in the office. It was tough knowing that she had that posterior tie but a health professional not understanding the extent of what that meant. We left deflated.

I have been exclusively pumping since I made the last post, which just means that Norah is getting her milk "to go" instead of "from the tap". ;) It has been 16 days of this, and honestly it is going well... WAY more "fun" than bf at the moment, although I am so hopeful that our situation will change soon. It does take a LOT of time - but I have found EPing support groups online that have offered little tricks that have been amazing (like just rinsing and storing your pump parts in the fridge after use and washing with soap just one time a day). We are "pumping on demand" as I like to call it. I always pump a bottle full and leave that out at room temp ready for when she starts showing early signs of hunger. She gets to immediately eat and doesn't have to wait for me to do anything. As soon as she is finished, I pump for the NEXT meal time. It works so well. The milk never needs to be refrigerated since breastmilk is good at room temp for 4-6 hours. HUGE TIME SAVER!!

Where are we now with the whole ordeal?
After doing a TON more research, I found Dr. Cole in Fort Worth, who is an expert in the laser frenectomy procedure for infants. He trained under the tongue and lip tie guru Dr. Kotlow in NY, who hundreds of people fly to without question to have the quick procedure. Plus, he knows what a posterior tie really is and how to locate it. Dr. Cole will laser her lip and tongue tie right after the other, which will take maybe 2 minutes total, for the price of one at other less experienced locations (So thankful!) ... Why? Because I think he is a firm believer with the evidence that says lip ties are ALWAYS accompanied by a tongue tie of some degree. Plus, it is literally the same procedure.

2 weeks ago, I made an appointment for the soonest available time, which is coming up in just 2 days!!!! We are so beyond excited! A picture of our Frenectomy Countdown Chain is at the bottom of this post (which only brings happiness since it reminds me of counting down to Christmas). :) can't believe it used to say 14, and now there are just a couple of links left!

Please continue to pray for us all during this crazy time, and mostly for Dr. Cole and his wisdom in the situation. Thank you to EVERYONE for the amazing support and to SO many ladies who have shared their bf difficulties with me. It has been so encouraging to be reminded that this is the healthiest, happiest thing for Norah, and my favorite...that if she could talk, she would be saying "thank you for giving me my best chance possible!"

Our Breastfeeding Crisis

WHERE do I begin??
Gosh, so many emotions are flooding my head. This is going to be a lengthy post, y'all. {I am posting this for my sanity, so loved ones can stay updated, and so women going through this know that they are not alone.}

I came across the biggest thing ever yesterday morning... information that is quite possibly going to save my relationship with Norah, John, and the world. I have literally been going CRAZY since her birth and now I'm finding out that the whole thing could have been fixed in 30 seconds.

Dana, WHAT are you talking about?
I'm talking about how we have had a nightmare of a time breastfeeding. It has been almost 10 weeks of the most frustrating, excruciating, disappointing thing I could possibly go through -- but you all know how stubborn I am. And looking back through all my update posts about the physical and mental trauma, it all makes sense now. It turns out that Norah is tongue tied and lip tied, which has totally hijacked our beautiful/normal breastfeeding experience. More on that later.

First of all, let me just give you a front row seat to my past and current emotional state while dealing with all of this. Since even before getting pregnant, I had this picture of how I wanted everything to go baby-wise. I am a humungous fan of everything natural when it comes to bringing kiddos into the world. Natural births and what else?? Breastfeeding! ...where mama and baby couldn't be happier. Now don't get me wrong, I knew that many babies had trouble with it for the first week or so (that seems to be a trend in my family) but all gets sorted out with time and practice and then it is AWESOME. (ha!)

So it's May 9th. I just birthed Norah. I was on an amazing emotional high... Life couldn't have been better. She wasn't interested right away to nurse, so we were just going to follow her cue and let her decide when. Our midwife and assistant (and my mom) were all there helping to try and get us going with the breastfeeding with not much luck. Well Norah FINALLY nursed late that day. It was horrible, but hey, she was at least getting something and figuring out how to suck. I just rolled with the pain (knowing that next time we'd do it better) for her benefit. For the next week, things stayed the same. Norah didn't LOVE nursing even though my milk supply was quite large and I was trying my best to do it right. I felt completely undesirable -- when Norah did "latch" on, it was beyond painful, she would throw a huge fit while nursing, and I got the beating physically and emotionally. I've never cried more in my life. Our midwife came to check up on us often and helped adjust some things with latch and positions. Our pediatrician offered advice. I wore nipple shells so that it was possible to put a bra or shirt on. I lathered in Lanolin and did salt water rinses to help with healing. So this is what I've realized, y'all... I'm a pretty tough person, especially when it comes to sacrificing something for loved ones (my kid)! I watched a million videos about breastfeeding, read articles, talked to people who had difficulties, and they all told me that nursing may not be FUN for the first 2 weeks, so if I could just make it to 2 weeks things would be better. That's what I did. Norah gained weight like a champ in the first 2 weeks even in spite of our situation... probably because that's what Norah needed from me and by golly I was going to deliver. My thoughts while nursing her: Suck it up, girl. Almost everybody you know has breastfed. Supplementation is not an option. You are made to do this. You know the benefits. It won't always be like this, time will make it go away. Just swallow the pain. Ignore the sounds she's making and the blisters you're getting.... WHY can I not feed my own child??!

We hit the 2 week mark, then 3 weeks... and 4 weeks. Nothing was improving. I was 4 weeks beyond the point of being desperate and, honestly, I felt worthless! Yeah, it has been a rough time. I continued to literally DREAD when Norah was going to wake up and want to eat. I did NOT want to feed her, but obviously she needed to eat. I talked to 2 breastfeeding experts on the phone at this time, but they just told me what I already could have written a book on -- how to get a good latch, positioning, etc. In my desire for company and more help, I drove an hour away to a previous midwife's house. She is also a board certified lactation consultant. It was amazing seeing her again and although she didn't help us much with fixing our issues, she did give me a nipple shield that I could try while I was 'healing' from the nursing trauma. IT SAVED MY LIFE for the next month. As much as I didn't want to use it as a crutch, I did. It made breastfeeding her feel better. I used it every single time for 4 more weeks while I was just waiting for her mouth to get bigger, latch to get better, and all the other reasons the experts say to stick with it. The "It will be hard" time frame was then updated to 6 or 8 weeks of breastfeeding.

So now, at almost 10 weeks ... here's the kicker ... I ACCIDENTALLY found the answer to our problems on a breastfeeding forum online.

Um, WHAT?

Yes, Norah has a thing called Posterior Tongue Tie - and based on all the information I have managed to scoop up in the last 24 hours (I had to dig DEEP to find a lot of this stuff), we have all of the signs and symptoms. It literally keeps her tongue from working correctly and makes breastfeeding the most painful thing IN. THE. WORLD. She has to creatively work her mouth to get the milk. It happens to 1 out of 50 babies. And there is a safe, effective, 30 second clipping procedure that usually fixes it immediately.

Um, WHAT?!

The 6 health care people I have talked to didn't see it before (but it is farther back than the anterior, easier to see ties). Eh, whatever. Below is a list taken from American Academy of Pediatrics website, I found it linked from a video.

The items in bold are what we have been experiencing.

"The presentation of symptomatic tongue-tie may vary widely, including symptoms and signs in both infant and mother.

Maternal presentation is commonly characterized by: 

• nipple pain and/or erosions 

• painful breasts

• low milk supply 

• plugged ducts 

• mastitis 

• frustration, disappointment, and discouragement with breastfeeding 

• untimely weaning

Infant symptoms and signs include: 

• poor latch and suck 

• clicking sound while nursing (poor suction) 

• ineffective milk transfer 

• inadequate weight gain or weight loss 

• irritability or colic 

• fussiness and frequent arching away from the breast 

• fatigue within one to two minutes of beginning to nurse 

• difficulty establishing suction to maintain a deep grasp on the breast 

• gradual sliding off the breast 

• “chewing” of the nipple 

• falling asleep at the breast having taken less than an optimal feed, as proven by “test weight” on a digital scale "

....so that's a lot of stuff that applies to us. This is what I FIRST found, though, after seeing it in a forum. It's a video on youtube that literally made me scream. It's that horrific smacking sound that I could pick out in a crowd, and surprise! it's a tongue tied baby. This sound is not and has never been "cute" as many people have said to me. :P It is excruciating. This is what sold me on the fact that Norah has it, because this is EXACTLY what nursing her looks and sounds like despite all my efforts.

*warning for people who think breastfeeding is not natural or whatever, this is a real mom breastfeeding a real baby

>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow-yCOYrEX0

Here is a video that I found very helpful in learning more about this. 

I just want to give this woman a hug through my computer:

>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmv4vHO6ihM

and this one:

>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvuaN5FYz3I

This is Norah's lip tie. Haven't gotten a good picture of her tongue yet.

I was very frustrated when all these pieces started coming together yesterday... but for some reason it worked out this way. I feel so liberated just FINALLY having the answer!!!! The patience was worth it and the suffering was there for some sort of reason. 

God is good and we didn't give up! :)

We are getting her lip tie and tongue tie clipped on Monday morning. Please pray for our patience, sanity, her health, and that she will quickly be able to re-learn how to nurse and use muscles that she's not used to. 

I am VERY excited. I desperately want to be able to nurse my child and get along with her. I don't want to dread her awake hours... yikes. I want her to get all the nurturing benefits of this natural process. I don't want to feel like a bad mom anymore. Nursing In Public would be amazing and so convenient. I want to be able to look at a breastfeeding mom and know that I can do that, too. 

I'll post when we have an update! :D

2 months old

2 days ago Norah turned 2 months old. Things have definitely not been boring around here- I have been fighting through a weird 'almost' cold thing, which is behind us now, and Norah is as cute as ever. This little girl is so joyful! She loves music, smiling, and staring at faces. She sleeps like a pro and "talks" up a storm. Her neck is SO strong for her age. Tummy time is getting more fun each time, and believe it or not, our rough time with nursing is soooo much better all of a sudden. Thank you God! :) Not perfect, and still not super fun, but it is much better. For the first time in a month, we nursed from BOTH sides withOUT using nipple shields on Tuesday (and have been like that since, although it's only successful in one position... Oh well)! Such a humongous deal for us. I desperately want our nursing to be "normal". I know it is such a beautiful thing, and it's way more than the milk. The bond lasts a lifetime and babies that stay at the breast for longer have better development in many ways than babies who don't. I want to NIP (...quietly!) or at least have the option of doing so. I want to feed my daughter without her throwing a huge fit. I want to nurse and smile at the same time. I will do anything to keep trucking through this so we can have that. I want to give her the best chance possible -- and as difficult as it is, we will stick with it!

Thought about something interesting recently - I can't have it all. We got pregnant on try #1. I totally loved being pregnant... felt better than ever! We got the perfect birth I wanted for her, short and easy labor and a home birth with zero interventions. She is an amazing sleeper. She is the happiest baby on the block, NEVER fusses except when nursing. So there has to be something I suppose.... I still have faith that it will pass and be beautiful and enjoyable soon! :)

More Vacation

We wrapped up our fun at the farm with a BEAR in the field across the road (I missed it, but apparently it was huge!) and now we are in New Martinsville. Love these Dawson folk! :) it is 106 degrees in Dallas and 77 here. Enough said.

It looks like we are going to camp for the days that we are here. Grandma and Grandpa want to set up their RV for use this summer, which we will help them with. Could be really fun! I'm sad we have to leave on Saturday... We are never here for long enough. Right now I'm sitting on the porch swing holding Norah in my lap. She is sleeping. It is windy and getting chilly - there's a storm coming! I love this place so much.

Fun in WV: